Lanes are my friends. In the last year I've moved gradually away from racing and into the realm of a leisure cyclist. 'Leisure' conjures a strawberries and cream, cider in the sun approach to life. Of course it's not straightforward. Some of my friends jump out of planes or paraglide. Some race motorbikes and others push themselves beyond physical capabilities. When do they do this? In their leisure time! So leisure cycling for me is trying to stay properly fit but avoiding racing. Racing got too stressful for me. Balance had become more time in the car than on a saddle. But training hard is paramount. My anxiety needs a distraction and cycling is it. So I still have objectives but the main-road mile eating is gone. Now I seek peace and nature and a little bit of zen. I might still be turning myself inside out but now its in the lanes. I have a handful of sexy loops of one, two and three hours that avoid main roads. And I'm smiling more. Nature and focus have become my counsellors.
Of course I miss the good people of racing but race days became a race of two halves and the calm of the peloton (I usually felt calm racing) was destroyed by manic Fast + the Furious drives home. No point in getting penalty points instead of winners points. Now I pick an event away and bring the family or do a local sportif i can ride to.
I dream of byways and boreens and find challenges in the everyday. A year ago that would have given me palpitations.
And I'm lucky theres a group of good guys around to put in some miles with too.
I think I paid my dues. Did the years and shed the tears, did the miles and won some smiles. Of course there are those I know newer to the game in similar circumstances that can juggle it all and I admire them. But they didn't crash with me in 1989 or do the 200k thing regularly or train with Carrick in the nineties or do the weekend doubles when I was doing them. They didn't hammer me when the leagues were awesome either. My miles are on the clock and I don't need to apologise. And to those few that were there then and are still evergreen, my hat is off to you! You are a better person than I.
